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Why I KonMari My Facebook Friends To Spark Joy

Why I KonMari My Facebook Friends To Spark Joy

Not to sound vindictive, shallow, bitchy, or any negative feelings or emotions, I just want to be straight with you all and let you know that I am going to try and apply the decluttering concepts of KonMari to my Facebook friends to make my Facebook “spark joy.”

Some people might say that Facebook friends carries no physical weight, and therefore don’t weigh you down but I would like to think that you have certain people on Facebook who don’t spark joy in your life.

And to be completely black and white with this notion of “spark joy,” like how Marie Kondo talks about in her book, the moment I see a “friend” on facebook, I should be able to feel whether or not they spark joy in my life.

If they don’t, I am going to “unfriend” them to get rid of the digital mental clutter that they take up in my Facebook.

My feelings before we start

I want to let you know, and this might sound shallow, but some “friends” on Facebook were past their prime and didn’t spark joy within me anymore and were remnants of a bygone era in my life (you know, the people you add because you met them while backpacking Europe or randomly while out in the city).

I think a lot of us have these sort of random connections on Facebook because deep down, we think they will be of future benefit to us where we’re going to need something from them (and hey, they’re probably subconsciously thinking the exact same thing of you).

I don’t mean to make it sound so transactional, that people would think this shallowly of their Facebook friends, but if we are to be honest with ourselves, I thought like that up to this point and I think some of you out there think like this too (at least subconsciously).

I thought, “The more friends I have, the more people will see my blog posts when I share it, thus helping boost my ad revenue and blog stats.”

It took me a couple of months to almost a year until I realized that I was keeping “friends” on Facebook that I didn’t particularly liked, all because of this selfish reason to get more notoriety. Some, I kept out of guilt or social pressures because they were an important person to my self-development at some point.

Well, NO MORE.

Here I go, decluttering my Facebook friends list.

Logged in to facebook. Apprehensive.

Starting out with 320 friends. This is pretty much the most “friends” I have ever had on Facebook.

1:20am.

I’m getting into it. Easier than it has even been in the past times I’ve tried to unfriend people. Facebook has made unfriending much easier now. Before, you used to have to go to their actual facebook profile and click unfriend. Now, you can do it all from the friends list.

Going through this, I’m unfriending people I have literally never talked to since those backpacking trips more than 5 years ago. I couldn’t help but think about how this feels like pruning the branches on a tree or bush in order for it to grow healthy offshoots.

It’s pretty much, getting rid of the deadwood in order for new growth.

1:35am. Still going, picking up steam, it’s getting easier to let go.

It feels cathartic. A part of me feels guilty that if any of these people find out that I unfriended them, they’ll be slightly sore about it, but to be honest, they’ll probably be sore for like one minute then move on with their lives because I’m moving on with mine. Or, as will most likely be the case, they won’t even care because they are focused on living their lives.

I also couldn’t help but think about how there are many people on my friends list who would keep all of their friends on facebook and never delete them, no matter what. These people have “friends” well into the thousands even though they honestly probably talk to only a handful ever.

I also think it’s good that people take the time to do this because it teaches them to learn to let go. By letting go of the mental dead weight and clutter, we create the space for newer and better situations, lifestyles, and people to enter our lives.

1:43am. Can’t believe that took only 8 minutes lol.

I am now at 121 friends total on facebook. From 320 to 121. Wooooo. Phew. Glad that’s done and over with. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would take. There also wasn’t a big grandiose feeling of “Ah, this is it. I am done.”

Marie Kondo said that you will eventually reach a point where you declutter enough and you feel an AHA moment of joy. This is when decluttering worked.

Maybe I am not done yet. Maybe I’m still not being honest with myself and there are still some people left on the list that don’t spark joy with me and that I still should KonMari and declutter.

Maybe I will save that for next time and see how this goes first. I know Marie Kondo said that to declutter, you should do it all at once to prevent relapse. I will see how this goes.

Asking For Advice

When I was younger, I would normally not ask someone for advice because I was arrogant and thought I knew it all. I think a part of me was also afraid to ask for advice because I didn’t want to seem stupid or ignorant.

Now that I’m older, I realized that the ones who grow usually had some help along the way and are usually not afraid to ask for advice and insight. I now ask and seek advice, insights, and wisdom from those older than myself, along with more successful  people in the hopes that I can learn a few nuggets for personal improvement.

With that said, I reached out to Sarah, a multi-talented author and minimalist personal finance blogger at diamondsndenimblog.com to ask whether it would be a good idea for me to post on Facebook “If you are seeing this, you spark joy and I still enjoy our friendship. I just decluttered my friends list on Facebook.” You get the idea. Something along those lines.

My reasoning for asking her is that I wanted a second opinion so that I didn’t come across as pretentious or arrogant on Facebook that I would do such a heinous act as decluttering a Facebook profile.

She said, “I think that’s a great idea really, people love to know that they’re loved and appreciated! Knowing that they “made the cut” is a really nice feeling, and we need more of that in today’s world!

Well now, lol. It was nice to hear it come from her. So here I go, letting my friends know on Facebook.

P.S. It’s the next day and I went through my friend’s list again because I felt like I missed some people that I wanted to declutter out of my life and made the harder choice and unfriended them. I feel slightly lighter. I am now down to 111 friends on Facebook.

Passing through the bottom of the page, I also saw the groups and likes section so I removed myself from groups I am no longer a part of, such as college groups, etc.

I have since joined the Minimalists Life Group on Facebook and just got accepted into the Frugal Minimalists Group. I also got accepted to the ChooseFI group about people on that Personal Finance mindset. Together, minimalism and financial independence go hand in hand because I feel like both seek to decrease wasteful spending, and increase greater life fulfillment and enjoyment via more efficient money handling.

We shall see how this journey goes.

Have you decluttered your Facebook? Would you do something like this?

What other areas of the digital world can we declutter that Marie Kondo didn’t go over in her book?


Enjoyed that?



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This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Hi Jack! Nice site. I like the “Minimalist Monk” moniker. Your theme of minimalism is really cool too and the idea of “konmari’-ing Facebook is an excellent idea. Sometimes I do feel like it is unnecessary clutter and information overload. Instead of decluttering my friends, I basically don’t even spend time on Facebook at all. But maybe I should, so I could join the same Facebook groups as you! Cheers 😀

  2. Hey Doc! Thanks for your comment! Can I just say, you’re my first ever comment on this blog! WOO HOO!!! So thank you again lol.

    With that said, I’m glad you like and noticed the moniker lol. I split myself into different personalities depending on the topic, so there’s the frugal monster, minimalist monk, and plain ol’ Jack the dreamer (of FIRE and beaches). (might give it the appearance of multiple people writing for the site? lol).

    I like the minimalistic appearance of your mobile version website as well 🙂

    and it’s really one of those things where it’s like, if we’re going to be living and writing about minimalism, our blogs should walk the walk as well. It’s still a work in progress.

    My question for you:

    1) Would you consider decluttering your facebook?

    2) If so, do you think you’d use it more because you’re now surrounding yourself with people who actually bring you joy?

    On a side note, some people in the minimalists groups only use fb exactly for these groups lol, so they’ll be like minded peeps for you there 😆

  3. Wow. I like the different personalities depending on the topic approach!

    Yes, I would consider decluttering my Facebook. But it is not a priority right now. I’ve had Facebook since it first started when it was more like a student directory for Ivy League colleges and select west coast universities. So it might take a while. Because of this, I just don’t use it as much for now.

    If my Facebook was decluttered, I probably would NOT use it more for several reasons:
    1) I still think it’s information overload
    2) If I were to declutter it in true minimalist style, I would only have my close circle of friends that genuinely bring me joy. I call and text these people regularly anyway, so therefore I wouldn’t really use Facebook.
    3) Facebook knows too much information about me already and I don’t want to increase their database on me. Facebook knows everything we like, all the locations we visit and geotag, our preferences, and knows so much about us that it feels slightly Big Brother creepy to me.
    4) Facebook is susceptible to hacking. And because Facebook has so much information on us, I think it’s a problem. I value my privacy and security too much.

    In summary, I am a Facebook minimalist and I will remain a Facebook minimalist. But I do like instagram though 😉

    1. lol you have good points. What’s the point of “decluttering” your facebook friends list if you’re barely going to use FB anyways because your closest friends you already text and call with on a daily basis…though, you could just delete all your friends on fb and keep fb just for the reason of joining different fb groups, i.e., the minimalist groups and FIRe groups 😆

  4. I agree 100%. Some people focus so much on physical decluttering and overlook mental decluttering. Every year (strangely enough, around my birthday) I declutter my friends list. I have removed lots of people from previous chapters of my life, especially school and university friends. Those friendships were very valuable to me at the time but nowadays, we barely have anything in common and never communicate beyond the occasional ‘like’ (if that). Clearing these friendships away gives more room for new friendships, new communities, new interests, new directions and new opportunities.

    1. Isie, thank you for your comment! Glad to see you doing it too 🙂 and most def. Marie Kondo doesn’t really (if at all) talk about decluttering social media because it’s beyond the scope if her cute little 40k worded book, but I think we can write our own book, maybe in 20,000 words about decluttering the “sosh” to open more opportunities into our lives! 😀

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